Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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