any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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