Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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