the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
