im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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