she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
