My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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