i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I FOUND THE LEGS
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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