I'm so fucking centered right now
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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