her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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