Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a hot homeless man
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
