NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
