I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
