Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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