When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
