His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
