Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
