imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
