We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
