What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm bleeding and have questions
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
