quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
