You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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