Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
