Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
