i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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