Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
