i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
