Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
