I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
