we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
