i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
