he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
