Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize