That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
