First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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