i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
