just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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