help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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