so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
