Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
