I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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