She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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