So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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