Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
