i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
