I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
