i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
