"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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