I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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