You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
