I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
