I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
