it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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