Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
