If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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