so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize