32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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