Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
