Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
