just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is wine microwaveable?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
