would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
